Well now that the semester is over what do I do with this blog? Well for one – change its name. I have to admit that I’ve grown to like this mode of communication (even if no one is reading!).
The other night, while out with a group of friends, the topic of tradition came up. Those of us who are parents felt that some how we had let our children down by not passing on to them this all-important concept of tradition that we had as a child. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I knew that this was untrue. What we were truly lamenting was that we hadn’t lived up to the tradition of our youth.
In my mind’s child eye, Christmas was this wonderful event filled with togetherness, laughter, joy and family. Weeks before Christmas day, we sat around the dining room table with mom decorating her special sugar cookies. Some years we drove hours from home to spend Christmas with grandma and great grandma. Most years we stayed home and our grandmas came to visit. Every third year our maternal grandparents would visit. The house was always decorated with a tree, stockings were hung on the living room wall and Christmas cards tapped to the woodwork surrounding the entry to the living room. We watched ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ and ‘Dr. Suess’ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’ on TV. Christmas morning we would open our stocking gifts as Mom prepared a hot breakfast while our excitement built it until it finally exploded and we tore into the presents under the tree.
When I married I was introduced to a new Christmas tradition that was so elaborate that it made my childhood Christmases seem like just another day. My husband’s family spent Christmas Eve with family at his home. His mother spent days in the kitchen preparing her special sauce and meatballs for their Christmas Eve Lasagna dinner. They would then attend Midnight Mass while Santa was placing their presents under the tree at home. After mass they opened their Santa gifts then off to bed. On Christmas morning they opened the remainder of gifts then went to spend time with each set of grandparents. The day was filled with fun, cousins, food and presents.
As young parents we tried to merge both traditions together. Our children were dragged around to two out of the three sets of grandparents on Christmas Eve. By the time we returned home, they were so tired that cookies were never left for Santa. Christmas Day it was either off to grandparents number 3 or busy preparing to host the family dinner. These whirling, swirling days ended when we divorced and the children and I moved away. In my adult mind this is when Christmas tradition ended for my children. Christmas became this patched up holiday that lacked any joy.
Last night my youngest set me straight. We did have a holiday tradition and I wasn’t following it this year! Mom, she said, every year we go together to pick out the Christmas tree that we decorate together with our homemade ornaments. Then on Christmas day we go to grandma and grandpa’s house for Christmas dinner and spend time with our aunts, uncles and cousins. Listening to her it was very clear that I was the one who was tradition-less. Where was my sense of wonder and amazement. Why was she the only one who cared!
The truth was that I had created a tradition for my children. It was very different from the one I knew as a child but that matters none. Our tradition was based on craving out precious time to spend together and in the end isn’t that what this time of the year is all about – having gratitude for the blessings we have in our lives.
Posted by kathid 
